Am I Crazy?

It seems I'm having "the aliyah conversation" with more and more people lately. Sometimes, I remark that this must be what was going on in thousands of Jewish homes in Russia beginning in the 1880s:

"Maybe it's not that bad. Our people have been here for so long. Maybe we should we stay and ride out the persecution."

"We've been saving for years and can only afford one steerage-class steamship ticket. Should we send our oldest child first?"

"How can I leave my elderly mother?"

"We don't speak any English. How will we put food on the table?"

I may be having the aliyah conversation with 10 families at a time, but, at the same time, so many others, the vast majority, are unable to imagine a future anywhere but here in America.

Here's something a lot of America Jews have forgotten. We are an immigrant people. There are millions of Jews in America today whose grandparents or great-grandparents were immigrants to this country not much more than 100 years ago. And yet, we have a bad case of generational amnesia.

We forget that, since the Exodus from Egypt, we have been a people on the move. God commanded that we move 42 times in the 40 years we wandered in the desert. At some time in history, we have lived in virtually every county on the face of the earth. And we were expelled from a goodly number of them. Sometimes more than once.

Why, then, do American Jews persist in thinking that they are here to stay, despite world events, despite the ever-increasing call to return Home? I am among a small group of people who can hear the call... and it is getting louder. Sometimes, I think I'm crazy.

But I know I'm not.

In this week's Baltimore Jewish Times, there are three articles that point to the diminished influence of Jewish life in Baltimore. The cover story is about opening one of the JCC buildings on Shabbat so the non-Shabbat observers (and non-Jews) who belong to the JCC can exercise on Saturdays. There is also a story about a local Jewish nursing home dropping its Jewish affiliation and phasing out its kosher food service. A third story is about the 90 year-old Baltimore Hebrew University merging with Towson University, a large, secular university.

I see in these stories, which all hit in the same issue, yet more evidence that the American Jewish experience is coming to a close.

There is more evidence, much more compelling evidence, all around us, but many people are oblivious to it. Books are being published about how we are living in a time of biblical prophecies coming true. The economic crisis. the chaos in world politics, the existence of a new Amalek/Haman/Hitler on the world scene. Watching as God really has begun gathering the exiles from the four corners of the earth. It all adds up to the conclusion that we are in a new era.

In 2004, on the 350th anniversary of Jewish life in America, a colleague asked me to participate in a discussion on what Jewish life will be like in America in 350 years. I declined to participate because, as I told her, there will be no Jewish life in America in 350 years. I have only become more certain of that statement in the past five years. I'm not even sure there will be Jewish life in America in the next three years.

No. I'm not crazy.

Just awake.

And paying attention.

Livelihood and Israel

Much of this week's portion covers various forms of skin eruptions, called tzara'at, that result from speaking lashon hara, gossip or evil speech. Just as it is possible to speak lashon hara about a person, it is possible to speak lashon hara about Israel.

At a recent Shabbat meal, we had an impressive and respectful young man, one who has been blessed with an excellent Jewish education, at our table for the first time. As is my custom with our guests, I asked about his relationship with Israel. He described his belief that all Jews should live in Israel, as soon as Moshiach, the ultimate Jewish redeemer, comes. Until then, neither of his parents’ careers easily transfer to Israel and he is beginning professional school, so they all plan to stay in America where they can earn decent livings. To him, this was a perfectly reasonable perspective, completely consistent with his education.

It is commonly asserted that making a living is so difficult in Israel that we are relieved of the obligation to live there. But is such an assumption equivalent to speaking lashon hara about the Land of Israel?

Let’s assume that it is, in fact, more difficult to make a living in Israel than in America. Just as the juiciest gossip tells only one side of the story, there are at least two good reasons why making a more modest living in Israel than one makes in America can be spiritually preferable.

Reason #1 – Voluntary Simplicity
In Judaism, there is a perpetual tension between the physical world and the meta-physical world. Our spiritual self would like to go to synagogue Shabbat morning, but our physical self would prefer to sleep late. Our spiritual self would like to make a charitable donation to a Jewish cause, but our physical self doesn’t want to part with the money. Our spiritual self would like to keep kosher, but our physical self wants a cheeseburger.

The examples are endless, because it’s a tension we live with all our lives. Our spiritual self might, in fact, be drawn to Israel, but our physical self overrides that inclination with the argument that it isn’t possible to make a living in Israel.

Each time we choose the spiritual path, as opposed to the material path, we earn spiritual merit. If living in Israel was as easy as living in America, there would be less merit. God wants us to overcome our physical comfort to an extent to do the correct thing spiritually.

One of the corollaries to the physical/spiritual tension is that they cannot coexist. The more physical a situation is, the less spiritual it is. And the more spiritual, the less physical. For many, living in Israel means choosing a pie with a larger spiritual piece and a smaller physical piece. We’re not talking here about starving or becoming a charity case. It means being willing to live a simpler material life in order to reap greater spiritual rewards. Earning less money in Israel gives one the opportunity to mute the potent power of the physical in favor of the spiritual. In America, this idea that one can live a fuller life with fewer material possessions is called the voluntary simplicity movement. In Israel, it’s just called life.

Reason #2 – Relying on God
To the Western mind, money flows into our households as a direct result of our efforts. The harder we work, the more money we earn. Judaism teaches that this is an error in perception. In truth, our livelihood comes from God. This is a matter of faith.

In this week’s parsha, we learn that kohanim, Jewish priests, were experts in diagnosing tzara’at. One day, a particular kohein decided to leave Israel to make more money outside the Land. In preparation for leaving, he taught his wife how to diagnose tzara’at by looking at the pores from which each hair grows. After receiving his instruction, she convinces him that, if God provides nourishment for each individual hair on a person’s body, God certainly can provide for the kohein and his family without him having to leave Israel. In this story, the wife is more spiritually insightful. She sees clearly that their livelihood comes from God.

Israel has wealthy people. But for the majority of Jews, a more modest lifestyle is to be expected and embraced, not used as an excuse to stay in America.

To assert otherwise is akin to speaking lashon hara against the Jewish Homeland.

A Rabbinic Response - The Last Word?

Getting back to the "Responding to the Economic Crisis" controversy, I heard back from a local rabbi with whom I exchanged a series of emails on the subject. In essence, I made the point that the downturn in the economy has spiritual significance for Jews still in the Diaspora and that it could well be that its purpose is to move Jewish history forward and convince American Jews to finally "get out of Dodge".

I haven't asked his permission to quote him, let alone name him, so I will introduce his points with a few of my own.

1) I very much appreciate the integrity of the rabbi who responded to me.

2) I also appreciate the fact that he took time to think about what I was prodding him to think about and that he took time to respond.

3) His response made me feel sad.

Here were his main points, paraphrased by me (therefore, it would be only right to suspect some bias). I tried to capture the essence of his point without quoting him directly.

I want to emphasize that his actual words were conciliatory, as in, (and this is also a paraphrase even though it looks like a direct quote), "I have a nagging personal feeling that you may ultimately be right, but I/we aren't prepared to act on that possibility at this time."

* There was agreement among the event's planners that, at this time, people need concrete, practical help at least as much, if not more, than spiritual perspective. However, they felt that some spiritual perspective was offered by the keynote speaker.

* When people are suffering, as in the current economic crisis, the correct thing to do is help them concretely, not make them feel guilty for still living in the diaspora. The aliyah message, if it is to be delivered in this context, has to be done with great sensitivity.

* Many, if not most American Jews, let alone most rabbis, don't share the perspective that I and others espouse, namely that the doors are closing on American Jewish life and the time has come to seriously consider getting out while it is still relatively easy to do so.

I don't know if this is the final word on this topic, but his last point is SO hard for me to take in, even though I know he's correctly reflecting reality.

One Bite At A Time

One Bite At A Time: What To Do When You Find Yourself Considering Aliyah

The old joke asks, “How do you eat an elephant?”

“One bite at a time.”

Planning aliyah, even thinking about the possibility of someday, maybe, planning aliyah, can be overwhelming. It’s such a huge undertaking. Where does one begin?

As the Coordinator of the Baltimore Chug Aliyah, I have the opportunity to coach people who are just beginning to think about making aliyah. Often, people are not ready to speak openly to friends and family about the subject, but would like to know what they can do to begin some preliminary research. What follows is a list of things you can do very early in the process, to make progress without making any open declaration or formal commitment.

There’s a lot to learn and it can be overwhelming. Take one bite at a time. Learn about one new resource, make one new contact or study one new website on a daily or weekly basis. In this way, you will eventually accumulate a great deal of information, one bite at a time.

Here are my suggestions for early steps. I’ve tried to present them from least to most complex, but of course, what one person finds complex, another finds easy. There is no magic to the order in which the steps are undertaken. The most important thing is to take that first bite.

And then the second.


Step 1 – Say a prayer.
When a religious Jew considers aliyah, there is likely to be a spiritual reason behind it. On some level, many of us realize that the most complete expression of our Jewish identity is possible only in Israel. Before you begin, it helps to acknowledge your spiritual motivation with tefillah.

You may find something that speaks to you in our existing liturgy. Consider reciting the second paragraph of Shema or the bracha of mekabetz nidchei amo Yisrael (Who gathers the dispersed of His people Israel) with special kavana. Try noticing the number of references to Israel, Tzion and Jerusalem in Birkat HaMazon. You may wish to say Chapter 122 of Tehillim.

Alternately, consider asking Hashem, in your own words, to guide you on your journey. Imagine the pleasure you are giving Hashem when you begin to explore the possibility of coming Home.

Step 2 - Buy a notebook and a couple of file folders.
You are beginning a research project, and you are going to come upon many, many resources, ideas, websites, brochures, flyers and other ephemera. You’ll need a place to keep them all organized.

If you’re comfortable with a computer (there is a huge amount of information available online), you’ll also want to open a document folder. It’s a good idea to also begin a webography (sometimes called a webliography) - a document that lists links to website related to your search. In addition to saving the URL, you’ll want to write a brief comment about what you found useful about each link, just to jog your memory later.

Step 3 – Open your notebook or a new document and begin to list all your questions, large and small. What will you need to know? Most working people with children are concerned about three big issues. What community will be right for them? What options are there for employment? Where can their kids go to school? These may be your areas of concern. Or you may need to know about retirement options, financial planning, healthcare services, etc. Do a brain dump. List whatever questions you want to find answers for, no matter how major or minor. Just get them out of your brain and into writing.

Step 4 – Turn the page and begin to list all your concerns, large and small.
Nobody makes aliyah without worries. What are you worried about? What are your concerns? What are your potential stumbling blocks? Get all the stuff that’s rolling around in your head into writing

Step 5 – Read Inspirational Blogs
People who long to make aliyah, are going through the process of making aliyah or who have recently made aliyah, are writing blogs (on-line diaries) to share their experiences with the world. Here are a few suggestions of aliyah-related blogs to get you started:

Adventures of Aliyah
Written by a retired couple who made aliyah from Baltimore without children, this blog includes detailed entries about their daily life in Israel. It’s best to start reading this one from the earliest entries forward.

Ki Yachol Nuchal!
Written by a former Baltimore resident now living in Neve Daniel, this blog is about all the wonderful little things that come with life in Israel.

Kumah
Home of the Aliyah Revolution, this blog is full of aliyah inspiration and is written by 10 regular bloggers and occasional guest bloggers.

What War Zone??? Because the Middle East is Funny
Written by Benji Lovitt, a 30-something single man now living in Jerusalem, this blog is a humorous look at the cultural differences Americans find in Israel.

Step 6 – Join the Baltimore Chug Aliyah Discussion List
The Baltimore Chug Aliyah is a loose association of like-minded people considering aliyah in the long term or already planning aliyah from Baltimore. Any Jew from Baltimore with an interest in aliyah, no matter how tentative, is welcome. The Chug Aliyah is also open to people with an interest in buying a home in Israel as a step toward deepening their connection with Israel. There are open community meetings and an online discussion group where members share aliyah information and inspiration with one another. All services of the Baltimore Chug Aliyah are free of charge.

If you have email, this one is really easy. Just send a blank email to: baltimorechugaliyah-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Step 7 – Read Inspirational Books
I’ve divided the suggested titles into two categories. Group One includes first-person accounts of the aliyah experience and the experience of life in Israel. Group Two includes more Torah-based content.

Group One
Moving Up: An Aliyah Journal
by Laura Ben-David
Mazo Publishers
Moving Up is an easy-to-read, daily account of a family’s first year in Israel, from the packing up of their American house to the birth of their first child in Israel a year later.

To Dwell In The Palace: Perspectives on Eretz Yisroel
by Tzvia Ehrlich-Klein
Feldheim Publishers
A thought-provoking collection of articles, addressed to religious Jews in the West concerning the mitzvah of aliyah. Do not miss the section called, “Things My Shaliach Never Told Me.

101 Reasons to Visit Israel: And Perhaps Make Aliyah
By Estie Solomon
Written by a former Baltimore resident, this is a lighthearted list of 101 pleasurable aspects of life in Israel, illustrated with full-color photos.

On Busdrivers, Dreidels and Orange Juice
On Cab Drivers, Shopkeepers and Strangers
On Bus Stops, Bakers, and Beggars
by Tzvia Ehrlich-Klein
Feldheim
Three little volumes of brief and inspiring stories of everyday life in Israel.

Group Two
Eretz Yisrael in the Parashah: The Centrality of the Land of Israel in the Torah
by Moshe D. Lichtman
Devora Publishing
Why do so many Jews still choose to live in the Diaspora? To answer this question, the author analyzes every reference to Eretz Yisrael in the 54 Torah portions, demonstrates the overriding importance of Eretz Yisrael and encourages Diaspora Jews to at least consider making aliyah.


Talking About Eretz Yisrael: The Profound And Essential Meaning Of Making Aliyah
By Rabbi Pinchas Winston
ShaarNun Productions
This book is a forthright argument meant to encourage Torah-observant Jews to urgently consider making aliyah today.

Eretz Yisrael: The Teachings of HaRav Avraham Yitzhak HaCohen Kook (Lights on OROT)
by Rabbi David Samson and Tzvi Fishman
Torat Eretz Yisrael Publications
The rabbinic name most associated with Religious Zionism is HaRav Avraham Yitzhak HaCohen Kook, better known as Rav Kook, who lived and taught in pre-State Palestine. This book is an accessible English commentary on Rav Kook's teachings about Eretz Yisrael.

Eim Habanim Semeichah: On Eretz Yisrael, Redemption, and Unity
by Yisachar Shlomo Teichtal
Urim Publications
Rabbi Yisachar Shlomo Teichtal was an Eastern European scholar living during the Holocaust. While hiding from the Nazis in Budapest in 1943, he wrote this lengthy argument on behalf of the establishment of Jewish dominion over Israel, a position that he had previously opposed.

Step 8 – Spend time on the Nefesh b’Nefesh website
You are probably already aware that Nefesh b’Nefesh is the place to turn for specific aliyah-related information. Indeed, the Nefesh b’Nefesh website is a major source of current information about all aspects of making aliyah. So much so that it can be overwhelming.

NBN advisors recommend that you make an appointment with yourself and spend an hour a week on their website – every Tuesday night from 7-8 PM, for example. I recommend that you start with the AliyahPedia section of their website. In this section alone, there are hundreds of articles on subjects such as housing, employment basics, financial planning, resources for disabilities, aliyah rights, obtaining an Israeli driver’s license and dozens of other topics.

Step 9 – Request guidebooks
Nefesh b’Nefesh publishes the Nefesh B'Nefesh Aliyah Planner -- a workbook and guide designed to help you organize the details of the Aliyah process. Contact the New York office of NBN for your copy - 1-866-4-ALIYAH or 212 734-2111 or email nbnusa@nbn.org.il

Kehillot Tehilla publishes Bayit Neeman B’Yisrael, -- a booklet that includes research on Israeli communities where North Americans tend to settle. The 9th edition contains highlights of new communities with a special section called "Off the Beaten Track," which identifies upcoming communities and neighborhoods where prices are more affordable. Copies are available locally through the Baltimore Chug Aliyah (see Step 6) or contact Paysi Golomb of Kehillot Tehilla - 443 957 4591 or paysi@tehilla.com.

Step 10 - Begin attending local programs
The Israel Aliyah and Programs Center, Nefesh b’Nefesh and the Baltimore Chug Aliyah all sponsor free, local programs about various aspects of making aliyah. Members of the Baltimore Chug Aliyah (see Step 6) receive notices about all aliyah-related programs. Many are announced on luach.com, on the BaltimoreAchdus list (to subscribe, send a blank email to: BaltimoreAchdus-subscribe@yahoogroups.com)and in local shul bulletins. The larger programs are also advertised in the Where What When and other local publications.

Step 11 - Get rid of stuff
Nobody takes every single possession from America with them to Israel. While there are large, beautiful private homes in Israel, most people in Israel live in smaller quarters than they did in America.

If you enter the term “decluttering” into a Goggle search, you will get over 500,000 hits, full of tips on ways to declutter. There are businesses devoted to helping people declutter their homes. When you declutter with an eye toward making aliyah someday, your efforts will benefit you in the spiritual world as well as in the physical world.

Step 12 – Learn some more Hebrew
I’ve saved this for last because it is often the toughest advice to take. You may think that you need to enroll in a class to learn Hebrew. While face-to-face classes do exist in Baltimore, the options locally are quite limited. But today, there are dozens of other options for improving one’s conversational Hebrew level: tapes and CDs, Internet sites, online classes, workbooks, easy-Hebrew newspapers and computer software, all designed for adult use. There are also private tutors. For a complete list of Hebrew learning options for adults, please contact the Baltimore Chug Aliyah (See Step 6).

Kol hatchalot kashot. All beginnings are difficult. But with the steps outlined here, you can take it one bite at a time. If you’ve read all the way to this point, you’re already one step closer to learning more about aliyah.

May Hashem reward all our efforts to return Home.

More on Responding to the Economic Crisis

What follows is a recent letter, written by a brilliant friend of mine. The letter writer is a deeply committed, unusually well-educated Jew who made aliyah from Baltimore and is passionate about the need for Jews to live in Israel. She wrote this letter to her former rabbi from Baltimore, seeking advice on how to deal with the frustration she feels with American Jews who will not consider making aliyah. With her permission, I am sharing her letter here, having edited out all personal references.

Dear Rabbi,

I’m writing mainly because a close friend and I are seeking some perspective on an issue that continues to trouble us greatly. First, a little background: Baruch Hashem, our families have been blessed with the near-constant appreciation of just what a remarkable gift Am Yisrael has been given in our generation. Our special friendship is built on a mutual understanding of how we must never take this gift for granted and on encouraging each other to constantly acknowledge how profoundly fortunate we are to share this daily miracle: the flourishing of Am Yisrael in Eretz Yisrael. We can look at each other with complete and shared sincerity: Ashreinu mah tov chelkeinu u’mah yafeh yerushateinu!

As much as we rejoice in our fortune, though, we are truly vexed by an issue that is quickly becoming a michshol in our quest for Ahavat Yisrael. The longer we live here and are absorbed into the holiness and essence of Eretz Yisrael, the more difficult it becomes for us to relate at all to Jews who choose to live in America. We mean specifically those Jews who are Torah-observant, who received Jewish educations akin to the ones we both received in Bais Yaakov, and who are committed to raising growth-oriented, frum Jewish families. It’s becoming increasingly more challenging for us to understand why Jews would invest in Jewish infrastructure (schools, shuls, mosdot) in America as opposed to focusing all of their energies and attention in determining how to make their lives here. We mean specifically those young families whose roots are not yet sunk deeply enough in Chutz la’Aretz that uprooting and planting elsewhere would not cause serious trauma to their children.

Why aren’t they with us? Why are they committed to being stretched to the breaking point just to remain in Chu”l? Why are they deciding on how large their families should be based on the tuition factor alone?

The most apt mashal that we can think of, which closely aligns with our experiences, is that of a single person who remains in that state solely due to fear of commitment, of change and of leaving his comfort zone. He has chances to marry and to change his reality, but that would require taking a leap into the unknown. He is told, though, by married couples, that their metziyut (though at times challenging) is profoundly more rewarding than when they were single. Yet he refuses to taste of what Hashem has intended for him, preferring to tread water in his reliable daled amot rather than “leave his birthplace for the Land Hashem shall show him.“

We continually try to think of appropriate shidduchim for our single friends, knowing that they too wish to change their metziyut and commit to someone in their lifetimes. It’s hard for us to enjoy the rewards of a loving relationship and the joy of raising children knowing that there are others who are still looking for that fulfillment in life. But for those who shun opportunities due to fear of commitment or change, all the while believing that they belong somewhere else…well, what kind of a life is that?

I am not, chalilah, intending to cause you any personal hurt. We are still inspired by the drashot and shiurim that we were privileged to hear from you during our stint in Baltimore, and we are truly humbled by your clear love and care for Am Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael. Halevai that we could love so deeply! We understand the need for wonderful rabbanim to remain in Chutz La’Aretz for the time being to encourage their kehillot on towards vibrant, committed lives in Eretz Yisrael.

We are basically seeking eitzah as to how to relate to this segment of Am Yisrael in a healthy and productive way. Right now, it is hard for us not to feel pity for the frum community in America. And overwhelming frustration with the widening gaps in basic hashkafot within the olam Torani. And, in all honesty, anger at what we feel is a basic failure of the chinuch given to young people in chutz la’Aretz in this generation. Why is Am Yisrael so utterly unfazed by the tremendous gift that Hashem has charged us with?! It is NOT acceptable in the 21^st century for a young frum Jew to think it’s ok to strike roots and stay in America.

Neither of us wants to pity wonderful people, greater than us in their Torah learning and pure lifestyles. It doesn’t seem right. We are not arrogant people, and we know that we have many faults. But we can’t seem to square our concern for the future of Am Yisrael with the ongoing lethargy of a diaspora Jewry who are turning their backs on this Divine opportunity.

Rambam, Ramban, R’ Yehuda HaLevi, Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh, R’ Yehuda haChassid, the Vilna Gaon – they all attempted to move here or sent their disciples to live here, when the situation in E”Y was almost impossible. Now we have such an easy time of it relative to the hardships of our preceding generations. What is wrong with us as a nation? Kol Dodi dofek v’dofek v’dofek…and we here are very worried that He’s given up on knocking at our door, in our time, because we just can’t collectively get ourselves out of bed to answer the call.

At the community meeting tonight to address issues of economic straits and strategies to weather these times, will anyone be raising the possibility that maybe this is another knock on the door, and that we should flood E”Y as soon as possible with a mass aliyah of committed Jews? Will this be considered as a “practical initiative?”

Doesn’t the rabbinic leadership have a responsibility at this critical juncture to promote aliyah to young families?

Or will all talk tonight be of salvaging and sustaining the diaspora?

With tremendous respect and anxiety that I might have caused offense,

But with a stronger anxiety that Am Yisrael is missing the boat,

Yours truly,

And Now, For Something Entirely Different...

THE SET UP

In my copious spare time (ha!), I moderate a list called Geula Watch, in which list members share dvrei Torah, blog entries, links to shiurim and other Torah-based information on the subjects of Moshiach, geula and kibbutz galuyot (the Ingathering of the Exiles).

A few days ago, I shared a link to a shiur by Rabbi Pinchas Winston, who is making his mark in the Torah world by teaching about the significance of the time period of Jewish history in which we find ourselves. Rabbi Winston is a prolific speaker and writer and a great influence on my thinking about these matters.

In this shiur, given live in Ramat Beit Shemesh, Israel on Sunday night, March 22 and posted to the Internet within hours, Rabbi Winston basically makes the case that the purpose of the current financial crisis is to separate Jews from the Diaspora, because kibbutz galuyot is the final stage of Jewish history. Additionally, he hypothesizes that America may well recover from the financial crisis, but only after the Jews who will be part of the Redemption have left. He argues that, for the economy to recover and for American Jews to go back to "normal" life would only prolong the exile and would be counterproductive to the goals of Jewish history.

AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT...

Last night in Baltimore, the Vaad HaRabbonim Rabbinical Council of Greater Baltimore held a community gathering called, "Responding to the Economic Crisis: An Evening of Tefillah, Chizuk and Practical Initiatives."

In essence, the program last night communicated this theme, "Times are tough, but if we stick together and help each other, we can get through it and our local institutions, particularly our day schools, can be even stronger than they were before the global economic crisis hit."

There was an emphasis on practical ways to help - reallocating our tzedaka dollars so at least 51% of them stay in the Baltimore community, reporting all possible job openings to a central location, using existing community programs if one's family is in crisis, getting financial counseling if needed, etc.

Clearly, no one involved with the program has been listening to Rabbi Winston. There was absolutely no acknowledgment of the historical context of this financial crisis and what it might mean for Jews of the Diaspora specifically.

There were many good and well-meaning people involved in last night's program. Much chesed. However, there was not a single mention of the spiritual and historical significance of current events. The overriding conclusion attendees were meant to leave with, it seems to me, is that it's just a matter of buckling down until the economy improves around here and things go back to normal for the holy congregation of Baltimore.

Oy.

I do have to say that, even with separate seating, the room was divided down the middle, instead of front-to-back, so I was able to be seated in a b'kavod manner and was able to see and hear everything. I don't take that for granted.

"This isn't the same America you left," my son.

On the one hand, I'm watching what's going on and, like the neilah service of Yom Kippur, I see the gates closing on American Jews. I believe that this worldwide financial crisis is a tool of Gd's to get the Jewish people to separate themselves from their material success in the Diaspora and to come back home to Israel.

While shopping for vegetables on the local kosher market last week, I ran into a friend whose son, a second year yeshiva student in Israel, just arrived back for his Pesach break. She reported that he was looking for a job for a few weeks to make some money before he returns to Israel. "Just remember," she reports saying to him, "This isn't the same America you left."

To feel obligated to communicate that to a 19 year-old son. Now that's dramatic.

I watched a Holocaust movie a few weeks ago. What struck me most was the story of what happened to Jews in Vienna just before things got really bad. Changes that had taken months to implement in Germany were implemented much more quickly after the Nazi invasion of Austria. Seemingly overnight, life for the Jews in Vienna changed dramatically for the worst.

Was September 11 not a foreshadowing of this for the current generation.? How rapidly so many of the systems we depend upon could disappear!

On the other hand, I am beginning an entirely new business venture. True, I've built it so it has the potential to provide income from Israel as well. But it's somewhat like building on quicksand. Sometimes, I ask myself what I'm doing, establishing something new exactly when I feel that I should be closing down everything old.

But, if I have to be here for awhile longer, I have to be productive. I can't sit around wringing my hands indefinitely.

Not in Kansas Anymore OR Grieving for Leaving

Part One



The time has come to leave Israel yet again. I walk through the apartment, kissing each mezuzah goodbye, as has become my custom. My husband, not knowing how much time I am going to need to peel myself away, leaves the key in the open door. I close the door, turn the key, and, overcome with a flood of grief, rest my head on the locked door in a gesture of connection and reluctance to part.

"I don't wanna go!" I plead through waves of tears and searing pain. It's like leaving a lover with whom I know I can't stay, but from whom I don't yet have the strength to part.

I can't believe how sharp my grief, how hot my tears. From where does this come?? Walking away from my life in Israel is like tearing myself in half.


Part Two




The first leg of our journey puts us in Madrid, a modern, civilized airport with lots of expensive shopping opportunities. We have a long layover, and I am exhausted from grief and travel. I fall asleep in a wide, hard bank of seats at a deserted gate. I dream that a woman comes to warn us to leave this area of the airport because there is going to be an anti-Israel, antisemitic pogrom right near us.

I wake up and it is time to walk to our departure gate. A young man walks past us quickly, but not so quickly that we cannot receive his greeting.

"Shalom alecheim," he sends out into the air near us.

Hashem has sent us an angel to let us know we are not alone, even in the Barajas airport in Madrid.


Part Three


The plane lands in America and I cry again. Now I must step from the limbo of travel back into exile.

I focus on my blessings. Hashem clearly wants me in America for now. It is not my will to remain in galut. It is His. So I roll up my sleeves and say, "Okay. You brought me back here. Now give me something useful to do while I wait to go Home."

For a fleeting moment, I consider not returning until I can stay forever, so I never have to feel the pain of leaving. But, even as I contemplate it, I know that, despite the pain, I'll choose to return again and again, until Hashem lets me stay for good.

Do Not Fear!

We live in serious times. There are multiple simultaneous threats to the Jewish people. We are fighting a defensive war in Gaza against Hamas’ eight years of unprovoked missile attacks on innocent Israelis. By the time you read this, another front may have opened in Northern Israel, God-forbid.

We must defend ourselves against the irrational hostility of international opinion that seemingly blames Israel for every evil in the region.

The reincarnation of Amalek, Haman and Hitler is prancing around on the world stage in the guise of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, clearly stating his intention to nuke Israel off the face of the earth.

In America and, especially on the Internet, anti-Semitism is escalating.

Our newspapers are filled with stories of a worldwide economic crisis and Jewish names are on the front page.

Just weeks ago, we faced the cold-blooded murders of holy, and wholly innocent, Jews in Mumbai.

The odds seem very much stacked against us as a people.

And it is exactly now, when things look so bleak, that we are called upon to express our faith in a God who can, in an instant, take us from such darkness into the light.

When the Israelites left Egypt under miraculous circumstances, they thought they had escaped their Egyptian slave masters forever. And then, at the shore of the Red Sea, Pharaoh and his army approached from behind. There was no escape. Threatened on all sides, there was absolutely nowhere to turn. It is in this context, when things looked like they could get no worse, that we read:

Moses said to the people: “Do not fear! Stand still and see the salvation of Hashem, which He will accomplish for you today... Hashem will do battle for you and you shall remain silent.” (Exodus 14:13-4)

We are accustomed to look to the economists, to the politicians, to the army, to the media, to many human agents for some way out of this mess in which we find ourselves today. But the problems keep getting bigger and the solutions are not to be found in human hands.

We are living in the midst of a drama that God has scripted and is playing out before our eyes. And, like any good piece of theatre, the higher the level of dramatic tension, the more spectacular the climax.

This understanding does not free us from the obligation to act on a human level. We must don uniforms and fight wars. We must feed the hungry and bury the dead. We must give charity and care for those who suffer.

But we must be humble enough to understand that it is God, and not us, Who runs the world. And it is God, and not us, Who will bring our long awaited Redemption.

The Israelites had no chance of escape at the shore of the Red Sea. So they cried out to God and God split the sea for them.

Connect the dots. There are no human solutions for all our troubles. The time has come for each of us to yearn for the Final Redemption.

"Do not fear! Stand still and see the salvation of Hashem.”

The Pain of Galut

These days, the preponderance of my email comes from Israel. When I first turned on my computer after Shabbat, I was in a state of warped confusion. I scratched my head as I read through those first emails wondering, what war are all these people talking about??

During that brief window, while I was trying to piece things together, I realized how out-of-sync I am, sitting here in America. There was a war going on in Israel and, for 12 or more hours, I was utterly clueless.

Well, if that's not a vivid demonstration of the pain of galut, I don't know what is.

Here's another painful moment. A few days ago, Kumah posted a link to a video clip of some Chabad men dancing and singing in the middle of Machane Yehuda on Chanukah. All around them, people are shopping for cabbage and pita, but this group of men brought the ruach of Chanukah into the marketplace.



It's an amateurish video, probably taken with someone's camera phone. As I watched it, I started to cry because I don't live in a place where such a thing could ever happen.

This is also the pain of galut.

God Speaks to Us Through Headlines

This is the cover of today's New York Post. The cover story is about Bernie Madoff and how he destroyed the finances of so many members of the Fifth Avenue Synagogue to the tune of $2 billion. The title of the story is "SYNAGOGUE OF $UFFERERS".

Oh, this is not good. This is so not good for the Jews. I see this cover art and I think that someday, this will be in a museum. The Museum Of American Jewish History, which will open to the general public some years after the Jews had to flee American soil.

On the other hand, maybe this is good. Maybe this is very good. Maybe it's enough to make some American Jews feel a little heat under their collars.

This image is a strong one. It makes me a little ill to look at it. And yet, it fascinates me in the same sick way as some pictures from the Holocaust era do.

Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop

Being a Jew in America right now is somewhat unsettling.

Okay, that's a major understatement.

Being a Jew with some sense of an impending geula is like walking around in weird, warped time, feeling that something big is coming, but not knowing exactly what or when. It's like peering through sludge with a twist of surreality.

It's hard to make plans when you don't know if you're going to be forced to leave your home on short notice in a matter of months or whether you're going to be able to live out the rest of your (hopefully limited) years in America in relative stability.

It's not knowing whether anything material that you have will still be with you in a year. It's watching what you saved for your children's education and for your retirement evaporate before your eyes. Talk about your fleeting transience. Hevel havalim indeed.

It's hearing yourself telling your first born, currently studying in Israel, that she's young and should think seriously about just starting her life in Israel because there's no future here. I said it. I believe it. But, on some level, I can't believe I actually said it.

On the economic front, it's reading lists of stores that are closing. Watching banks close, merge and morph. Wondering how to plan when even cash may be worthless soon. Watching the daily Dow Jones report awash in red. Wondering how all this is happening while gas prices are plummeting. Yesterday, I bought gas for $1.94. It's all just too weird to believe.

On the spiritual front, it's thinking about what it must have felt like in Egypt during the plagues. It's hearing and reading a lot more "Moshiach-talk" than ever before. It's saying over and over, "Hashem runs the world," because that's the only thing that makes any sense. It's appreciating that, for today, we have food, we have shelter, we have health (and health insurance), and, even though I haven't been able to find work in nearly 6 months, we have an income from my husband's job. So what's to worry about? Hashem runs the world.

On the emotional front, it's wondering how to take care of your teenage daughter, how to explain to her that she may not get to finish high school in the same stable world as her grandparents, parents and sister did. It's trying to prepare for who knows what exactly while trying to normalize life for her. It's convincing your friends with geula-opia that you are, most certainly, not nuts. It's wanting to slap people you care about, just to wake them up from their rationalizations and their slumber. It's asking everyone you love to get a passport. It's knowing that people might be rolling their eyes at your single-mindedness because it's just so important to make people notice what's going on.

There is also, without a doubt, a measure of joy and glee in my heart because maybe, maybe what lies inside of all of this conundrum-ian existence is that I get to live in Israel that much sooner.

Hey!

A girl can dream.

Aliyah and Geula Playlist

I have an Aliyah/Geula Playlist on my iPod. These are the songs that inspire me and I often play these when I'm cooking for Shabbat (which, ahh, is actually supposed to be right now...)

My list is, no doubt, idiosyncratic. The specific songs on my aliyah/geula playlist are:

Jerusalem is Calling
Avraham Rosenblum & Diaspora on the CD Voices for Israel

Stand Up
Ayelet HaShachar on the CD Ohr Chadash

Hatikva
Barbra Streisand singing at the conclusion of the 1978 Stars Salute Israel show

Flipping Out
Blue Fringe on the CD My Awakening

We Will Survive
Jordan Chaviv on the CD Baal Teshuva

Where Did We Go Wrong (Mashiach Song)
Jordan Chaviv on the CD Baal Teshuva

Jerusalem is Mine
Kenny Karen on the CD Voices for Israel

Come Back
Moshav Band on the CD Higher and Higher

Return Again
Moshav Band on the CD Return Again

Return Again
Neshama Carlebach on the CD Journey

L'shana Haba
Neshama Carlebach on the CD Journey

In Israel
Sam Glaser on the CD Voices For Israel

Ve'apek
Shlomo Katz on the CD VeHakohanim

Tefilla L'Shalom Ham'dina
Shoresh On the CD Voices for Israel

Podiatric Symbolism

For the past few months, I have had what I thought was a recurrent fungal infection on my right foot. It clears and then returns and I can't seem to get rid of the itch permanently. There are no other symptoms. Just the itch.

Since I don't normally use this format to discuss my medical issues, you may be wondering why I'm bringing this up.

Today, it occurred to me that this is a case of podiatric symbolism. I have an itchy right foot and I can't make the itch go away.

Why do I have an itchy right foot? Because I have itchy feet - feet that are yearning to GO HOME ALREADY.

Sometimes, Gd is so literal.

Praying for the Best While Preparing for the Worst

We live in serious times. World-wide financial crises, frequent natural disasters which claim tens of thousands of lives, Islamic fundamentalism expressed through global terrorism and, for Jews in particular, a new Amalek, sworn to the goal of wiping Israel off the world map. The time has come for the American Jewish community to pray for the best possible outcome while preparing for the worst.

In Egypt, the prophetess Miriam and the women of her generation looked ahead and saw redemption. Rashi teaches that the righteous women of that generation were so confident the Hashem would perform miracles for them, they prepared by taking timbrels with which to celebrate. (Shemot 15:20).

Looking ahead with clear vision was also necessary in the time of the Holocaust. There is no need to recount how forethought saved countless European Jewish families.

On a spiritual level, the single most important thing we can do is to strengthen our emunah. Hashem runs the world. We must open our eyes and notice that Hashem is steadily bringing us into the days of Moshiach. With Gd's help, we will pass through these thorny times on our way to Geula with great rachamim.

However, there are certain concrete steps we can take to prepare our families, and ourselves, in case we, as a community, will be called upon to face harsh tests before we greet Moshiach. Jewish history is replete with occasions where Jews needed to leave their Diaspora homes hastily. If, Gd-forbid, the time comes when we will need to do the same, there are things we can consider doing now. None of these actions are irreversible and they may save your family precious time in the future, chas v'shalom.

• Make sure everyone in your family has a current passport.
• Consider withdrawing enough cash to purchase tickets to travel to Israel.
• Consider installing a small safe in your home in which to store cash, gold and/or jewelry.
• If you have family or trusted friends already living in Israel, consider storing your most precious family heirlooms with them.
• Consider gathering together the necessary documents and opening an aliyah file. Approval does not require you to make aliyah, but it can facilitate the process. Approval is good for five years and can be renewed.
• Buy a special outfit to wear when you head out to greet Moshiach.
• Pack a suitcase that you can grab and leave it near your front door.

Some of us, by our natures, will do more preparation and some will do less. Even if you feel that none of these actions are warranted by current events, the most important thing is to keep your eyes open and to notice what is going on around us. In serious times such as ours, the worst thing would be to simply not pay attention.

Yonah and Iyov - The Beginning of the End

In shul on Yom Kippur, we read Sefer Yonah at mincha time. Much of the sefer is about Yonah's attempt to escape from the job that Gd assigned him, which was to get the non-Jewish people in Nineveh to repent. But there's a part of the story that resonated very deeply in me this year in particular.

At the end of the story, after Yonah delivered his prophecy and the people of Nineveh have, indeed, repented their evil ways, Yonah, who was practically suicidal, ran to the east and waited to see what would happen next. Gd made a kikayon, a shady tree, grow unnaturally quickly, like in time-lapse photography, to shade Yonah as he waited on the outskirts of Nineveh. Yonah was very glad for the sudden appearance of this kikayon because it was hot where he was sitting and the tree offered him much shade.

In the morning, Gd sent a worm to eat away at the kikayon and it withered and was no more. What Gd had sent, Gd took away just as quickly. Yonah, already on the verge of despondency, was devastated. Gd was making a point to Yonah about how sad Gd would have been to lose Nineveh, but because of all the learning I've been doing lately, I read it a different way this year.

So far, as a result of the financial crisis currently grasping the world, my family has lost a sizable chunk of change from our retirement accounts. Most people urge us to sit tight, confident that the stock market will rebound and the money will be restored before we need it.

But what if this is the beginning of the end of materialism as we know it? I have begun divesting emotionally from every material thing I own. Before we came face-to-face with this stage of Jewish history, there are things in my American home I expected to take with me to Israel when we finally get to go. But now, I see that I might not have the chance to hold on to them. So I appreciate the bracha of having these things now, knowing that they are not with me forever, and maybe for far less time than I used to suppose.

I can give up the dining room table I inherited from my parents 26 years ago, my special lounge chair, my new side-by-side refrigerator and even the money on our retirement accounts. I pray only that, when the whole world of materialism comes crashing down, Hashem lets me at least take the people I love to Israel.

Yonah was sad when his kikayon was taken from him. But really, it seems, this is the lesson of all material things. As Iyov said, "Naked did I emerge from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. Hashem has given, and Hashem has taken away. Blessed be the name of Hashem." (Iyov 1:21)

This verse resonates on a very deep level today.

We Can Have What Moshe Most Wanted

Ha’azinu is third in a series of four weekly Torah readings in which Moshe delivers his final “State of the Union” address. The first 43 verses are Shirat Ha’azinu, the song of Ha’azinu. If you looked at these verses in a Torah scroll, you would be able to guess that you were looking at poetry, even without being able to read a word of Hebrew. But it is what we read in the very end of the parsha that always stops my heart.

Hashem spoke to Moshe on that very day, saying, “Ascend to this mount of Abarim, Mount Nevo, which is in the Land of Moav, which is before Jericho, and see the Land of Canaan that I give to the Children of Israel as an inheritance, and die on the mountain where you will ascend…” (Devarim 32:48-50)

It boggles the mind to consider what Moshe was feeling as he climbed Mount Nevo knowing that, after 120 years, these are among the last steps he will ever take on earth.

But even more than that is what Hashem says a few verses later:

For from a distance shall you see the Land, but you shall not enter there into the Land that I give to the Children of Israel. (Devarim 32:52)

Moshe is told that he will die on a mountaintop in Moav, looking out over, “the Land of Canaan that I give to the Children of Israel as an inheritance.” He will never be in the Land. Moshe, the man who came closer to Gd than any living person ever did before or since, died without ever stepping foot in the Land of Israel.

I have been to Israel 19 times.

Every time I am privileged to get off a plane at Ben Gurion airport, I wonder, how is it possible that I get to travel to Israel easily, and Moshe, after leading the Hebrew slaves out of Egypt, bringing the Torah down from Heaven and leading the Jewish people in the desert for 40 years never got to step foot in the place?

There is a tradition that Moshe offered 514 prayers to try to get Gd to let him enter. The ability to understand why Gd couldn’t allow it is beyond my spiritual level. But, as a believing Jew, I accept as a matter of faith that Gd had a really good reason.

It is much harder for me to understand why so few American Jews find Israel relevant. Two thirds of American Jews have never even been to Israel. Two out of three!

How did I come to understand the importance of Israel to American Jews? On September 11, 2001, my lifelong presumption of safety in America was immediately and irrevocably shattered. I abruptly came to see the United States, a country that received my grandparents, and the three generations that followed them, for what it really is.

A host country.

Don’t believe me? A few historical facts may help you see things more clearly. The first Jews came to America in 1654, but Jewish men couldn’t vote in Maryland until 172 years later. In 1692, the Church of England was the official religion in Maryland. And until less than 150 years ago, public office could only be held by those able to take the oath “upon the true faith of a Christian”.

Make no mistake. America, for all its many positive attributes, is hosting the Jews who live in her borders. This country is not ours.

And it never will be.

Gd has given the Jewish people a few hundred years of safety in America. But the Land of Israel He gave to the Children of Israel as an inheritance.

And that’s forever.

On The Money

The lines have been drawn in the sand and the stakes are getting higher.

There are two schools of thought here:

#1 True, this is a financial crisis, but the government is intact and bank accounts are insured and the bail-out bill will pass Congress and the stock market will recover and all will be well with the world.

#2 This financial crisis is the beginning of the end. Hashem is destroying money - our modern day idol. It may not be a coincidence that money is sometimes referred to as "The Almighty Dollar". Thinking of the concept of idol worship, doesn't that expression now ring in your ear a little differently??

There's a part of me that would like to be lulled into theory #1, but theory #2 makes so much more sense to me.

We are being swallowed by materialism. One way to read the recent disruptions, and the ones to come, is that Hashem is making it very clear that He can destroy the idol which we worship in a Wall Street minute.

More than one person has gently suggested that, if I was not currently unemployed (ironically, an outcome of the recent financial squeeze), I wouldn't be spending so much time thinking about this issue and seeing Moshiach around every corner. I countered that maybe I've not found a new job yet, davka, so I'm free to think about these things.

Call me crazy, but I really feel the geula coming.

One Of Us Is Clearly Wrong

Disclaimer: I might be wrong.

My husband recently encouraged me to gather a group of women together with whom I could talk about aliyah, moshiach and the impending geula. So I did. I found a handful of women and we had a very successful first meeting. We discovered that we are all very much resonating to the same spiritual strumming.

In some ways, the meeting churned up the heat on the issues for me. I am just about to boil over with anticipation. I feel like I am constantly sitting on the edge of my seat, on high alert.

One woman in our group directed us to a blog called Dreaming of Moshiach that she reads regularly. This blogger is either a spiritual powerhouse or a crazy person. Here are two of the more potent things she wrote:

1) In early October, President Bush will suspend the upcoming presidential elections indefinitely and that he will remain president. He will become known as the Biblical Gog (which sounds suspiciously like George).

2) All Jews in the Diaspora must make aliyah before Rosh Chodesh Sivan 5769. (May 23-24, 2009)

And here's another thing. Economists agree that almost every major financial crash has happened in September/October, which is always Elul/Tishrei - that is, Rosh Hashana time. The current economic crisis/meltdown facing us is no different. Is this a message from Gd?

One more thing to throw into the chulent pot. The Facilitated Communication messages from religious autistic people are speaking to us in very strong language. This transcript of a message from just last month speaks of the short amount of time left and how urgent it is to come Home.

So here's what we have. A major economic crisis with the possibility that it could get much, much worse. An impending nuclear attack, Gd-forbid. Frequent "natural" disasters of biblical proportions. Arguably the most unlikely presidential and vice-presidential candidates in US history.

Is it any wonder I'm churning?

In an attempt to figure out whether we can do something now to protect our finances, my husband and I met with a frum financial planner. I wanted to talk to someone who could advise us from a spiritual perspective rather than just a conventional financial planning perspective.

And do you know what this person said?

He recommended one possible tiny tweak in our accounts and then to just sit tight because he believes that the market will bounce back and we will eventually recoup our losses and continue to earn. He gave us the 99% pure conventional financial planning answer, based on the assumption that the future will look much like the past.

One of us is clearly wrong.

Why Can't I?

The fact is, I really can't move to Israel just now. If you know me, you probably already know the reason. If you don't know me, it doesn't matter. You'll just have to take it as a given.

So why might that be? I'm asking a spiritual question here, since the practical answer is already clear to me. What is the spiritual reason why my circumstances prevent me from making aliyah when I want so desperately to be part of the Jewish story at this stage of Jewish history?

I believe there is a spiritual reason why my circumstances are as they are. I don't believe the quality of being stuck-jammed-wedged-trapped into my life in America was randomly assigned to me. But since I'm neither a mekubal nor Gd Himself, I can only have theories.

Perhaps, in a previous life, I had the chance to live in Israel and I treated the opportunity with derision or simple indifference. Now, my tikkun is to long for what I treated cavalierly in a past life.

Perhaps Hashem is withholding the opportunity, as He withheld children from Sara Imenu, in order to force me to build a deeper, more faithful relationship with Him.

Perhaps I yet have work to do here, something specific to accomplish that I can only accomplish while living in America.

Perhaps Hashem is keeping me at a safe distance from some terrible tragedy that would otherwise befall me if I were to be living in Israel already.

It could be any of these, all of these or none of these. At this stage, the important factor is that I trust that there is a reason.

That helps me cope.

A Wail of a Time

When I gave birth (excuse this tangent so early in the post, but I've always loved that expression "giving birth") to my first child, the physical pain was beyond belief. A first birth, an excessively long labor, an inexperienced medical resident with an, ahem... unsophisticated bedside manner and insufficient drugs combined to create a nightmare of a delivery. So when this child left my body, it was painful.

But it was physical pain and I pretty much knew to expect that.

Yesterday, we sent that baby, now a sensitive and beautiful young woman, off to Israel to learn Torah for the year. Why don't parents tell each other how painful that separation is going to be? I was completely blind-sided by the intensity of the experience.



And, just like when we're in a cab traveling from our apartment to Ben Gurion airport because it's time to leave Israel yet again, I spent much emotional energy trying not to wail. The night before she left, her last night in our home, I didn't want her to hear me. In the airport, after my husband and I gave her a bracha and a final hug, I didn't want to embarrass myself (or her) in public. And last night, after we returned from the airport and I walked past the open door to her (now mostly empty) room, I didn't want our younger child to hear me.

I need an hour alone out in a forest somewhere.

Of course, there is much to be joyous about in this stage, and eventually, those things will rise to the surface. But for now, I'm grieving the end of an era, the end of actively parenting this child, of living with her on a daily basis.

If she loves Israel as much as I hope she will, any additional time she may spend under our American roof, she'll only be counting the days until she can get back Home.

Like mother, like daughter.

You Know Moshiach is Real When...

I consistently trade powerful words of Torah and chizuk with my spiritual sisters in Israel by email. Usually, we send each other inspiring articles, written by others. Occasionally, we inspire each other with our original thoughts.

I just got an email from one of my spiritual sisters who reports that her young son asked her, "If Moshiach comes today, can I stay home from Gan?"

There's no doubt that Moshiach is quite real in that household.

Great News for Prospective Olim From North America

CAN'T STOP... thinkin' about geula

I am obsessed with geula.

I get like this.

I've had many intellectual obsessions before, so I recognize the symptoms. I get an itch, an idea, and I spend hours, days, weeks, months, sometimes years, learning all I can about it. I've spent months reading one Holocaust memoir after another. I spent years trying to unravel why Judaism has such trouble with the whole gender thing. I know WAY more about Israel than I did just a few years ago.

You get the idea.

And now, I can't stop thinking about geula. Number 12 of Rambam's Thirteen Principles of Faith, is:

I believe with perfect faith in the coming of the Messiah. No matter how long it takes, I will await His coming every day.

I'm really, really, REALLY good with that one.

Here are some of the specific things I'm thinking about:

• Russia is the force behind Iran. Russia and Iran and their allies will invade Israel soon and America will not be able to stop it. Europe will be equally powerless or equally unwilling to get involved. God, on the other hand, will be on Israel's side and something very dramatic will happen to put an end to the enemies of Israel.
• There is no human way to solve the conflict with Muslim Arabs. There is absolutely no possibility of "peaceful coexistance". Their goal is to establish worldwide Islamic rule, both governmentally and religiously. Anyone who does not conform to their worldview is an infidel and must be killed. Only God can get us out of this one.
• The Chofetz Chaim zt"l recently appeared in a dream to his oldest living Talmid and told him that Moshiach is on his way. One version of the story I read claimed that Moshiach will arrive before Rosh Hashana. Assuming that means this Rosh Hashana, we're talking a matter of weeks. Even for the skeptics, it's mind-blowing to think that it could happen so suddenly... and so soon.
  
• Most people are planning for the future as if the current list of social problems - economic downturns, the high incidence of natural disasters, environmental crises, Islamic fanaticism, widespread health issues, the tragedy of the secular government in Israel, etc., are cyclical. What goes down must come up. Barack Obama will secure America at home and restore our reputation abroad. Blah, blah blah. But when Moshiach comes, these problems will be solved for us.
  
• Jews throughout history have been forced to leave their homes in the Diaspora at a moment's notice, with nothing more than whatever they could carry, but American Jews think we are immune from this sudden change in fortunes. Most of us didn't even notice that it just happened to Georgian Jews (there's that Russian aggression again) a few weeks ago.

No wonder I'm keeping such strange hours. Who can sleep while anticipating geula so relentlessly?

Hurtling Toward Geula

It's hit me. I'm back in galut a full week now, and a couple of days ago, the mourning period began. Once again, I'm grieving.

For someone as plugged in as I am to the virtual world, it's probably not surprising that so many of the things that pierce through me come in emails from friends in Israel. I know it's not deliberate. They're just reporting on their lives. This one is spending Shabbat in a city I in which would love to experience Shabbat. That one just made aliyah and is writing from her mirpeset, overlooking Yerushalayim. This one is back home, in Israel, after a business trip to the US. That one's daughter just got engaged to a yeshiva student. This one just went to the NBN Bloggers' Convention in Jerusalem. That one is moving into her new home. This one is celebrating an aliyah anniversary. That one just went out to dinner with this one. It's just life, happening in Israel.

The tears I didn't cry leaving Israel this time have bubbled up to the surface. I'm missing Israel, and missing my friends who see the world as I see it. In Israel, I desire metaphysical things - to feel God, to bring geula with rachamim, to see Moshiach, to be able to live where Jewish history happens.

Back here a week, I am overwhelmed with the vacuousness of materialism, which seems to attack me from all directions. There is no end to wanting. Today, I bought a platter decorated with cherries. It was 40% off. I was in some kind of fog when I bought it. "Oh, that's cute. And I can afford it!" echoed inside my head, but my brain was disengaged. I have no idea what I'm going to do with it now that I have it, but this materialism is SO seductive.

I desire to be less judgmental, but I don't know what to do with the feelings I have about religious Jews who are just oblivious. A friend gave me a copy of Pastor John Hagee's Jerusalem Countdown. The Jesus-talk aside, he sounds a lot like the Jewish voices that warn that Islamic Fundamentalism and Iran's increasing nuclear capabilities will bring us to the war of Gog and Magog. How does a Christian minister get it at the same time that so many, many religious Jews in America don't see what is right before their eyes?

The world is hurtling toward geula, and it could be, Gd-forbid, a brutal journey. The world is fundamentally different than it was just 7 years ago, but people act like it's business as usual; like there is all the time in the world.

If I speak my mind here in galut, people tell me to lighten up, that people need to live their lives. That it's not possible to sustain such intense focus on these issues. Or that I'm overreacting. How I love hearing that one.

I am woefully misplaced.

We Are Not Snakes: Parshat Eikev 5768

One way of understanding Jewish life is that the whole system, all the mitzvot, all the Torah, all the Jewish avenues for improving one’s character, everything, exists to help us establish and grow in our relationship with God.

Just as the ideal place to develop and strengthen our relationship with our spouse is in the privacy of our home, there is a physical location that is the ideal place to come close to God. There is one specific place where God has promised us, over and over again, that we can best nurture our relationship with Him. That place is the Land of Israel. It says in Parshat Eikev, the Land of Israel is: A Land that the Lord your God seeks out; the eyes of Hashem, your God, are always upon it, from the beginning of the year to year’s end (Deuteronomy 11:12)

God pays very close attention to the Land of Israel (the eyes of Hashem, your God, are always upon it, from the beginning of the year to year’s end) and, as a result, Israel has an indescribable spiritual quality that enables Jewish people to feel the presence of God more deeply. It’s as if Jerusalem is God’s living room. But if God wants the Jewish people to feel connected to Him in Israel, why does life there seem so much harder than it is in Baltimore?

In the story of Adam and Eve, all three players were punished. The snake was punished with the curse that, henceforth, his meals would consist of the dust of the earth. Considering how close a snake’s mouth is to the ground, this punishment seems hard to understand. After all, for the snake, everywhere he looks, there’s lunch! In what way is that a curse?

Imagine sending your daughter off to college in a distant state. Some parents might give her enough money at the start of the year to sustain her throughout the year. But wiser parents know that if they give their daughter expense money in smaller amounts, they can guarantee that they will hear from her periodically. And when she calls to ask for a cash infusion, there is an opportunity to talk about her life in college and to further build on the parent-child relationship.

If you consider the matter, you will see that the snake’s curse is the worst curse possible. God has, in effect, said to the snake, “Leave Me alone. I don’t want to hear from you. I’m going to give you whatever you need to sustain your life so that you won’t need to call upon Me.” Some people turn to God only in moments of crisis, in moments of lack. Since God wants to have a relationship with us, sometimes God sends us trials exactly so that we will turn to Him. But He wants no such relationship with the snake, so the snake feels no lack.

Similarly, everywhere else but the Land of Israel, things seem to proceed according to a natural order. You plant and you harvest. You work hard and you earn a respectable salary. It’s human nature, in such a world, to forget that all blessings come from God. Like the snake, like the middle-class American shopping at WalMart, we get what we need with relative ease, so we tend to forget about God. But we are not snakes. God wants to hear from us.

In Israel, life’s daily challenges force us to acknowledge that we are dependent on God for everything. It seems paradoxical that life is more challenging in the place God directs so much of His attention. But it is that way exactly because God wants us to ask Him for what we need. And He knows that, in Israel, this awareness is more easily achieved.