tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post1110343575814195833..comments2024-03-15T10:36:55.634+02:00Comments on Bat Aliyah: Epic FailUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-91299604821995781322011-06-29T22:01:43.090+03:002011-06-29T22:01:43.090+03:00Please do not see this as a failure. You otherwis...Please do not see this as a failure. You otherwise seem to have a warm relationship with a teen which is almost impossible! I am that same teen. Years ago my parents and myself made Aliyah. Years later I left but the love of Israel that my parents always spoke of stayed with me. It was always in the back of my head. This summer I am moving back to Israel along with my husband and kids. There is always hope.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-57467875394754562992011-06-28T23:59:57.271+03:002011-06-28T23:59:57.271+03:00Just wanted to comment on the thread of, "She...Just wanted to comment on the thread of, <i>"She's her own person and she has to make her own decisions."</i> Yes, of course. But like most parents, I expected her to do so when she's 18. After she finishes high school.Bat Aliyahhttp://bataliyah.blogpot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-18575612834208846482011-06-28T07:52:52.593+03:002011-06-28T07:52:52.593+03:00Rivka, your daughter making a different choice tha...Rivka, your daughter making a different choice than you isn't a reflection on your success of lack of it - she's her own person and has her own needs and will find her own path.<br /><br />Would you consider sharing about what issues you are aware of have been of concern for teen olim? We are moving this summer to Israel with several teens and would like to proactively work to smooth the path for them as much as possible. Knowing the specific challenges that are common would be helpful.<br /><br />Thanks!Avivahhttp://oceansofjoy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-13428441733877227742011-06-26T18:09:51.794+03:002011-06-26T18:09:51.794+03:00For the record, I did not encourage her to come ba...For the record, I did not encourage her to come back to the States. I merely let her know that she has the option if she is, as she claims, so unhappy in Israel. I wish she was happy there. By summer's end, she will know what she wants to do, and I hope she decides to go back. I wish I could go with her at this point.The Father & Ex-Husbandnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-562533603864423232011-06-26T10:18:39.316+03:002011-06-26T10:18:39.316+03:00She's her own person with her own values. You ...She's her own person with her own values. You can daven that she sees the light, and she might - this summer or in five or fifteen years. All you can do is model YOUR beliefs, and we both know you've done that, and love her and respect her right to make her own choices. Of course you'll miss her, but in a couple of years she probably wouldn't be living in your home full-time anyway. And Aliya at that age is HARD. She might make a different choice after high school, or college.Karennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-9182553944985598462011-06-26T10:18:09.988+03:002011-06-26T10:18:09.988+03:00We came four years ago with our fifteen year old d...We came four years ago with our fifteen year old daughter. She didn't want to be here, hated everything and everybody, and made sure to let us know about it. We did everything to make her feel comfortable to no avail. The first year was a nightmare. We let her go back the first summer and prayed that she would not get stuck there. She came back. She managed to finish high school but did not make one single friend, didn't participate in any events, and was basically home in her room most of the time. This year she started sherut leumi and is living with eight other Israeli girls. She is finally happy! It took a lot of hair pulling, crying, patience, and lots of praying. I thought both my girls would leave us. I understand why you let her go and will pray with you for her return.Esthernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-51644123477684912022011-06-26T10:17:21.242+03:002011-06-26T10:17:21.242+03:00Keep on davening. I know about rocky teen years, a...Keep on davening. I know about rocky teen years, about aliya plans which go to plan B, C, etc. and I will also pray for her and hope we see her in the fall.... BTW, my own teen is now a mommy and for some reason is rewriting our past as something of great value and which gave her many tools for her life now!! I also remember what a precious man, who was murdered in a 19 bus said to me when she was in total amok, which is that since we are all going to err, let us err on the side of love. you are doing great.Lisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-73868888824831259232011-06-24T18:36:31.397+03:002011-06-24T18:36:31.397+03:00The grass is always greener. The fact that her fa...The grass is always greener. The fact that her father kept offering her an easier time, or so it seems to her now, took it out of your hands.<br />Your being here in the Holy Land will mean it will be easier for her to return, even for short visits until she's ready for aliyah.<br />Shabbat ShalomBatyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09402874037427009327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-47084972569877019052011-06-24T15:57:59.094+03:002011-06-24T15:57:59.094+03:00Dear Rivka,
This August, GW, I too, will be making...Dear Rivka,<br />This August, GW, I too, will be making aliyah with a 15 year old, after one child made aliyah on her own last August. We will start in a rental in Maale Adumim. Almost everyone, including my kids, made fun of how focused I was on Noam's aliyah. We are moving where I felt it was best for him, not where it was Andy's or my first choice. We made so many inquiries and pilot trips for my 15 year old's sake. I would counter with "I don't want my child slamming the door on the way out". That I would rather be in the States with Zionists, then with angry kids in Eretz Yisrael. I can only hope that the good will be stronger than the challenges (for all of us), and I feel at this point, I did my best, and the rest is up to Hashem. I deeply hope you come to the same conclusion, that you did your best, and Hashem says that the time is not right for your child to be there. That there will in fact, be a right time. Trust this and Pray. <br />In deep appreciation for your story, Chami Grosssherrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03043998097966157103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-30300377808864645242011-06-24T10:39:58.606+03:002011-06-24T10:39:58.606+03:00Your post brought tears to my eyes. As a mother of...Your post brought tears to my eyes. As a mother of young adults, I felt your pain and understand how you must be feeling. Of course she will miss you but G-d willing, she will also miss Israel and all that you have tried to convey over the years and return on her own terms in joy!Chayanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-77111862258172501362011-06-24T06:53:49.273+03:002011-06-24T06:53:49.273+03:00Can you please, please change the title of this po...Can you please, please change the title of this post from "Epic Fail" to "Setback?" If every parent would consider themselves a failure when their kid didn't live up to all of their values/hopes/aspirations, none of us would have the koach to go on. We are all works in progress - especially our teenage (and older!) children. Just like our kids ultimately need to choose their level of emunah and observance by themselves, they need to develop their own commitment to living in Israel (even those who were born here!). You have given her (and will continue to give her) wonderful kelim to build on, and now you're giving her time and space to use them. That certainly doesnt' sound like a failure to me!Brachanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-12941443087747132652011-06-24T02:11:22.746+03:002011-06-24T02:11:22.746+03:00I feel your pain. I hope that when she goes back t...I feel your pain. I hope that when she goes back to America, she'll realizes that it wasn't the bed of roses she remembered. Humans have a lovely tendency towards selective amnesia (especially women). Maybe this will help her wake out of it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7976081.post-55672072102800055282011-06-24T01:38:58.257+03:002011-06-24T01:38:58.257+03:00Rivkah,
I totally understand. I am making aliyah...Rivkah,<br /><br />I totally understand. I am making aliyah and will be there in August. My only daughter, who is married lived there. But they are struggling. She told me she cannot promise me they will stay there. If they think they can live better in the US, they might leave. This hurts me to no end. I understand.L'Shmoahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04300194862465850283noreply@blogger.com