Sunday, December 17, 2006

Might As Well Face It, I'm Addicted To Israel

I am addicted to Israel. A blessing that is also a curse.

I can’t stop obsessing about the place. I am constantly reading an endless stream of books about Israel. The place is perpetually on my mind. I can talk about it for hours and hours without flagging. If I’m not actually there, I’m planning for the next time I get to be there.

This past Shabbat, my teenager daughter told me that she is tired of all my talk about Israel and, in typical teenager-speak, she assured me that so are all her friends.

This is not a new form of censure. Certain adult friends have also, ahem… encouraged me to express an interest in other things. All my life, people have told me that I am “too intense”. One more reason I want to live in Israel – it’s the most intense country in the world, so, in that regard, I expect to fit right in.

Four times before in my adult life, I have been absolutely certain that a certain future course of action, each a major paradigm shift, was correct. In each case, my intuition, my binah was correct and the outcome was completely positive. I know we will end up living in Israel someday. But until we get there, what do I do with the energy that roils around in me?

What is it about this place that so captivates me? I recently heard an interview with Israeli actress Meital Dohan who lives in New York part-time. “Israel is my husband,” she said, “but New York is my lover.” I can so relate to that thought. Baltimore is my husband, but Israel is my lover.

The place is other-worldly. The history, yes, but also the promise of redemption. The luminous future of the Jewish people.

The spiritual energy of the Land lures me.

In the end, it is Gd who calls to me. I know that.

No wonder I can’t reign it in.

2 comments:

rutimizrachi said...

(Sigh.) I relate so well, there are tears in my eyes as I read what you have written, feeling your angst in every word. Or maybe it's just jet-lag, as I try to re-insert myself into this foreign world, where we must once again settle for "practicing" Judaism. Until we get to go home, and live it. For real. I look forward to sharing a pomegranate with you there, dear friend. The quintessential Jewish fruit, filled with the symbolism of its taryag seeds, nearly flavorless here in Galut. May we taste its sweetness in Israel soon.

Anonymous said...

Barbara Carter
Rivkah, I too am passionate about Israel!! There have been times when friends have been really fed up with listening to me, some have been downright irritated. Somehow, I just keep being passionate...it paid off 26 December when I was able to make aliyah. I'm home, and it is such a relief to know that NO ONE can tell me that my visa is up, my time is done and I have to leave!! You and I will have the last laugh and be right here, where we belong!!