Sunday, April 06, 2008

Integration and Impatience

Bibliotherapy. It describes something I have been doing intuitively most of my adult life. In the psychotherapeutic literature, bibliotherapy generally refers to reading books on a particular topic for the purpose of healing from some emotional problem. But I created a course of Israeli bibliotherapy as a way of feeding my obsession, without losing every friend I have.

Over the last few years, there were times that I would read several books a week on topics related to Israel. I thought (and probably spoke) of little else. I ticked off a lot of people.

I recently noticed that the amount of Israel talk coming out of my mouth lately is greatly diminished. That doesn't mean that my interest in Israel and my commitment to making aliyah have diminished. Quite the opposite.

It means that I have so integrated the idea that, with Gd's help, I will be able to move to Israel in five more years, that it is no longer a flaming issue. I know my place is in Israel. I know it in the deepest part of me. There is no longer a war going on within me.

When I get to Israel, I want to be able to use my skills to strengthen an aspect of Jewish life that calls to me. I want to contribute to the imperfect place that Israel is, understanding all the while that, imperfect though it may be, it's ours.

I am ready to go now. Truly ready. Sometimes, I grow impatient. But I know I have family issues that require that I spend more time in America.

Since the destruction of the Second Temple nearly two thousand years ago, Jews have yearned to return Home. In the last 60 years, many have been able to do so. It is not my time just yet. But my time is coming.

It surely is.

No comments: